What Failure Teaches Us + 4 Tips to Move through Failure

Today, I’m talking about failure. And what failure teaches us.

Ouch.

Failure is a pretty touchy topic. Some of us love to talk about our pitfalls and others of us avoid letting anyone know we fail at anything! And just so we’re clear, I’m a “learn from it, move on ASAP and teach others from it” kind of lady. But there is one kind of failure that I like to avoid. Hint: It’s not failing at business or failing to call your mom on Tuesdays. It’s way more personal.

It’s failing yourself. 

And I’m sharing the details about my HUGE recent failure plus 4 lessons that helped me move through it to the other side. Because failing and moving forward’s the ultimate goal, right?

Back Story

After I graduated from college I moved home and began to look for a full time job. I had just finished my Master’s degree and felt like my job prospects would be pretty good. 

So I started looking for a full-time position.

And I kept searching and searching and searching. I did this for a full year before accepting a part-time position somewhere. It felt like this was the best option for me at the time. I could work two days a week, make a little bit of money and still look for a full-time gig the other 5 days of the week.

It was perfect, right?

Except it wasn’t. I was downright miserable.

2 days a week at this job and 5 days a week spent coping with the energies and self-doubt I brought home with me.

Ouch.

I fight to keep myself out of mild bouts of depression and this job was making it almost impossible to stay out of the hole.

And one day I was out shopping with my mom, she asked me a pretty simple question and I absolutely lost it.

Like “she’s got a screw loose, maybe she shouldn’t go into the store” snapping. (It was a hardware store, embrace the pun!)

At that exact moment, I realized that I couldn’t stay working at that job. It wasn’t in alignment with any fiber of my being. So I sent in my resignation, worked my last day and never looked back. But I sure learned a whole heck of a lot about myself during and after I left.

Now, Let’s Move Through It

1. Listen to Your Gut

When I accepted the position, it felt like a handout. But since I hadn’t landed anything, I felt like it was the “right thing to do.” But my gut didn’t like it. It wasn’t in alignment with me. And I was in denial.

Now I’m learning to listen to my gut way more. Like, “Hello, Andrea? What do you actually want?” And you know what? It feels sooo much better! Physically, mentally, emotionally. All of it.

And when I ignore what my soul wants? It can literally take me out of commission. I feel sick or exhausted or I get a migraine that lasts for DAYS. 

On the flip side, when I make a decision that is in alignment with my hopes and dreams I feel full of energy and life. There is a night and day difference between “aligned” Andrea and “unaligned” Andrea.

Don’t know how to listen to your gut? I like to think of it as a coin toss. When the coin goes into the air, what do you hope the outcome is? That’s your intuition talking.

2. Your Opinion is #1

Have you ever felt like you should comply with what society wants you to do? Maybe your family? Your friends?

(For me, it’s family pressure. And I’ve felt like this more times than I care to admit.)

Well, I’m here to be a little in your face and say that your opinion of yourself and life should always be #1.

I had been fighting the idea of joining the 9-5 workforce since I was a sophomore in college. That was year 2 of my 6 years in college!

I just always had this looming pressure from society and my school that joining the traditional workforce was the end goal. Not to mention my family’s bias to traditional, stable jobs. Get a degree, get a job, work up the corporate ladder, right? Denial.

What I forgot in the process was that MY opinion mattered, too.

I might always fight the opinions or expectations of society and family when it comes to my business. But, I know now that it just none of their dang business!

Hey, sometimes you just won’t fit the mold, my friend. And that’s ok!

3. Make mistakes, learn from it, move on

If there is anything I’ve learned from this experience, it’s that all you can do is learn from your mistakes. Dwelling doesn’t fix a thing. But forward moving action does.

So, make mistakes, learn the lesson and move forward knowing that you know better now!

4. When the world says no to you, say yes to yourself

It took me over a year post graduation to realize that the world wasn’t telling me no because I wasn’t qualified. (I was in denial, remember?)

The world was telling me no because God (or the Universe or Source Energy, whatever floats you!) had other ideas for me. I know I’m just in the beginnings of my business, but I have never felt better about the direction I’m going!

Saying yes to yourself is different for every woman. It might be as big as starting your own business, but it could also be something small like giving yourself 5 minutes every dang day to sit in silence. Whatever it is, say YES to yourself more often!

What failure teaches us is that even our biggest fails are a chance to grow and move forward.

Some days we’re gonna fail. Some days we’re gonna succeed. Let’s learn from our mistakes, say yes to yourself and listen to our hearts. We’ll come out on the other side, my friend.

Love, Andrea